When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
