He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
