Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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