sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
