these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize