he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
