After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
