So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
