i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
