He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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