Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
