last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
