it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
