How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
