Already got asked if we're dating
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
