Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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