did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
