how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
