There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
