ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
