Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
