She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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