We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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