Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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