if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
