I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize