omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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