thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
