I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
