so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize