i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
