If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
