i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
