I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
