so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
