what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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