Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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