we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
