My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we're making bets on your personal life
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
