She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is the high leading the old right now
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
