im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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