The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
