is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
