Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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