Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
