I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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