I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
