I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He felt like a one man threesome
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize