Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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