my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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