mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
