I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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