I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
