the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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