This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
