love makes seman taste better
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
