You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
pray to the hookup gods
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