That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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