16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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