The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
