Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i've created a new STD.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
