Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize