i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
